Title: BTFH #2 : Troll Combustion
Author: Fiona <nurseowens@clara.co.uk>
Date: 17 October 1999
Classification: MSR
Rating: Humorous NC-17
Keyword: Rhyming smut!
Spoilers: None. Just a lot of wishful thinking.
Summary: Moose and Squirrel have sex, and the BTFH dies.
Horribly.
Nuff said.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
They belong to Mr Carter, 1013 and Fox.
I stole 'em for the afternoon.
Author's note:
This is a sequel to my first poem 'Ode to the BTFH'.
Originally I had intended it to be a short,
rhyming, MSR smutfest...
but then the Bitch Troll turned up and spoilt my plans.
And then I spoilt *hers*. Big time :-)
This is for the UXers whom I love to bits.
May the Scullyritas be ever-flowing whenever
we are together.:-)
The B.T.F.H. #2 Troll Combustion
Prologue:
This is a tale of two agents in love,
So come with me now, you're in luck -
The building you face is indeed Hegel Place
Where the lovers have come for a fuck.
So if you are seated and ready to view,
I'll begin this fine story of sex.
Of a redhead with class who can clearly kick ass,
And a guy who looks gorgeous in specs.
---------------------------------
The sheets of pure silk and the candles aglow
Gave the bedroom an air of thick lust.
Agent Mulder stripped down, threw his clothes on the ground,
Then regarded his briefs with disgust.
"Oh my God" whispered Mulder as Scully walked in.
(She was wearing a black lacy teddy)
"I want you right here" she then purred in his ear,
"So tell me G-Man, are you ready?"
Taking hold of his boxers (with South Park motif)
Scully ripped them in two without thought.
"Poor old Kenny" she sighed, laving both of his thighs
with a tongue that would make his balls taut.
But Mulder had planned a much different game,
And he threw himself down on the floor.
"Just gimme a taste - come on, sit on my face
Then I want you to beg me for more."
Scully squirmed for a while and then wanted a change;
"God you're cock's an incredible sight!"
Mulder then sighed as she straddled his thighs
"Oh Scully, you're so goddamn tight!"
Well Scully's blue eyes - they flew open in shock
As she bounced on his twelve inch erection. **
"Oh God you feel good, I just knew that you would,
And I'm glad that we don't use protection!"
He gazed at her face and then into her eyes
Of cerulean blue, kind and trusting.
"I love you to bits!" he said into her tits
And continued his hard and deep thrusting.
But just as their passion was nearing it's peak,
They suddenly heard a sharp knocking.
"Oh.. who could that be?" Mulder groaned miserably
As his balls rubbed against her black stocking.
"Don't answer it, Scully,.. they might go away..
..and I love you.." he whispered devoutly.
But grabbing her robe, Scully nipped his right lobe;
"You just stay there, and DON'T come without me!"
"Can you give me a minute?, whoever it is -
I'll just tell them we're not feeling well.."
But surprise was in store when she opened the door:
'Twas Diana, the Bitch Troll from Hell.
"Well who is it then?" Mulder called from the bed,
As he touched himself up nice and slow.
Dana tossed her red head, and with courage she said:
"It's your ugly old friend, Scanky Ho".
"Good evening Ms Scully - I need to see Fox,
Oh forgive me, did I interrupt you?"
Then giving a frown (as she tightened her gown)
Scully screwed up her face and spat "Fuck You!"
"So is that a 'yes'?" Fowley grinned with a nod,
" I'm afraid that with hindsight you'll see -
That IF he should choose, then I'm sure you would lose,
I'm afraid dear, he'd rather fuck ME !"
"You presumptious trollop! Now you take that back!"
"I will NOT!" snapped Diana "It's true -
I was there from the start, and he won't give his heart
to a short little Ice Queen like you."
"Oh come on Diana, there's no need to bitch,"
Mulder cried with devilish grin,
"You're useless in bed and you don't give good head,
But my Scully can make the earth spin."
Scully then beamed and embraced him with joy,
Her rosebud lips pursed for a kiss.
And as their mouths met, their tongues warm and wet,
They heard the most terrible hiss...
Well sight of their snog, it was too much too bear,
And Bitch Fowley lost all of her power.
Her troll face imploded, her tits then exploded,
The force causing Scully to cower.
The spell had been broken and Fowley was doomed,
The witch, ...she was finally banished.
With a puff of blue smoke (and a bit of a choke)
She sank to the floor and then vanished.
"Holy Crap!" cried poor Mulder (for he was in shock)
"Do you think that she suffered much pain?"
He prodded the rug and then gave a small shrug,
"Fuck! - we'll never get rid of that stain!"
"Oh who gives a shit!" Scully cried with smile,
"We're alone and I want to make love!"
He was hard as a rock when she reached for his cock,
And he grinned at the mirror above.
So our heros; they screwed themsleves silly that night,
They had much fun with leather and honey.
And they chuckled and smirked when they got back to work
Until, Skinner said "Agents? What's funny?"
"I trust that you know Agent Fowley has gone?
Have you seen her at all since last night?"
They both stated 'no' and then turned 'round to go,
Hiding grins of mischievous delight.
The basement door closed and then Mulder reached out
to grab hold of his ex-partner's notes.
They were placed in a drawer with a hundred or more
Labelled 'Weird Shit and Blood-Sucking Goats'.
"Get over here Scully", Mulder growled with intent.
"Oh yeah, ...just what have you in mind?"
"Please examine my cock, my sweet red-haired Doc.,
And allow me to squeeze your behind."
With the door safely locked, they began to make love
Right on top of a old wooden chest.
Scully sucked on his knuckle and released a small chuckle:
"Goodbye wicked witch of the west!"
-------
Epilogue:
In a strange, distant land; poor Diana still lives,
But she paid a high price for her lies.
At night she's a whore, but by day she earns more
Serving coke and a shitload of fries.
--------------
** Um.. 'twelve inches'?
Poetic licence I guess. <g> Bite me.
Feedback is treasured.. like a comfy old leather thong.
Flame me while feeding me
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